It’s Not Supposed to be About Me

Before I go into me, I first want to say congratulations to all of my girls! At the beginning of the month (I am late in sending this shout out because I suck) I got to see hard work end in a successful charge to the finish line.

On Saturday, 3 December, my Girls on the Run completed their 5K that they worked toward for 12 weeks, while also learning about different life lessons. This was a very emotional finale for me. First, it was GOTR Sonoma County’s first official New Balance Girls on the Run 5K – it was all us baby! Shelli Main, Race Director, along with Catrina Dierke, Executive Director, Erin Devincenzi, Program Coordinator and a troop of volunteers did a fantastic job of pulling off a wonderful morning for all involved. Second, this was the last 5K for some of my fifth graders, as they will not be coming back for the spring season. I have had fifth graders leave before, but these four are special…they have been with me since third grade, and I have been witness to their growth – growth in running and in character. And finally, it was my daughter’s first 5K without me. She did a fantastic job and I am so very proud of her.

After the finale 5K, I hopped in a truck and headed to Sacramento for the California International Marathon. I had been training a fantastic group of women, and one pretty fantastic man, since September for this event. All of their hard work was going to pay off. It was a beautiful day. Whether they ran 10K, a half or the full thing, as I watched each of my athletes came cross the finish line, my heart swelled a little bit more with pride and joy. Each of these athletes put in a tremendous amount of work and dedication and because of that, they were able to go out there that day and just have a good time…trusting the training.

Those two days are why I coach. I love seeing people fulfill their dreams and achieve their goals. I love seeing people accomplish something that once upon a time they didn’t even conceive of doing. Maybe that is because I was once that person – 10 years ago I would have NEVER considered myself a marathoner or triathlete, but here I am with three triathlons under my belt and training for a second marathon. And, this training for my second marathon is where the “it’s not supposed to be about me” comes in.

I agreed to do the marathon because I was going to do it with someone else – I was going to help that someone else across the finish line in order to accomplish something that I believe she still doesn’t think she will ever do, but I know that one day, she is going to believe in herself and do it. However, this time isn’t the time for her and she isn’t doing it. I am disappointed because I was really looking forward to doing it with her, but I understand. And now, I have to wrap my head around the fact that I am doing a marathon not for someone else, but for myself.

I have to wrap my head around the fact that I am doing something I never really intended to do again (although all of my friends seemed pretty sure I would). So, while I train by putting in the miles for the next two and a half months, I also have to train mentally.

What I have to do is own the race as mine, because while it wasn’t supposed to be about me, it is about me and sometimes I need to have things be just about me and trust in the training in order to go out there had have a good time.

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One Response to It’s Not Supposed to be About Me

  1. Leslie says:

    I believe I am that someone you are talking about. I am disappointed I had to drop out. My injuries have prevented me from training for the marathon, even though it was something I was very excited about doing. I even had the hotel booked!! It isn’t that I don’t believe in myself; I am injured. The injuries have been a challenge–physically and emotionally– over the past month.
    I must say, I was surprised when you insisted you wanted to run the marathon with me–because in a previous blog post you had stated you would never do it again…this was quite a gesture– even though I was prepared mentally, to run it on my own, it would have been great to run it with you. Running is really a personal thing. It can only be done for oneself and no one else.
    I wish you swift feet and a light heart as you run the marathon, Stacie. Just have fun… if it isn’t fun, don’t do it.
    ❤ Aunt Leslie

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