For the past several years I have been going big: half Ironman triathlons, marathons, and a century, plus mix in a plethora of half marathons, and while I have gone big in distance, I have gotten “bigger” in body. It is funny because I figured becoming an endurance athlete would have made me smaller, but it didn’t. There are many factors that have gone into me gaining back a MAJOR portion of the weight I lost many years ago, but the biggest one is that I have let myself slip and slide toward food and drink with my mouth wide open.
Yes. Training more meant that I was hungrier. The difference was that I often went the way of, “I just rode 80 miles, I can totally have a burrito for lunch and some pizza for dinner without effect” (Don’t forget the margaritas I proclaim to run for) instead of choosing foods that would be beneficial for my recovery and performance.
I didn’t and don’t always eat poorly. I predominantly eat pretty healthfully, so it was frustrating that I was gaining and then unable to lose weight. And then that gain would cycle into thinking, “what is the point…hand me a brownie.”
Well, 2014 is going to be different. 2014 is the year of the small – small in miles and returning to a smaller, fitter, healthier me.
I have pledged to myself to not run more than 10 miles all year. I am not going to do a major triathlon. I am not going to ride hundreds of miles. I am getting back to the basics…I am going to do shorter distances. I am going to improve my speed. I am going to remember my love for each of my sports. I WANT to WANT to go for a run…not run because I HAVE to…same goes for swimming and riding. I don’t want to feel guilty and beat myself up for missing a workout because I decided to stay in bed and read on a Sunday morning.
I am also getting back to basics with eating. I am starting with a cleanse this week – no, mom, I am not starving myself. This week I will be abstaining from caffeine, sugar, dairy, alcohol, anything refined or processed. I will have smoothies and eat clean all week. My intention with doing this cleanse is to break from my unhelpful habits I have around food and drink.
I have made declarations of not doing something on this blog before (see never doing a half Ironman or marathon again…I have done three of each after saying I wouldn’t do a second), but this is different…this time I really mean it. I am not saying it because my quads hurt. I am doing it because I see myself heading down a path I have been down before – a path of feeling inadequate; a path of not being happy with what I see in the mirror. I am choosing publicly to get off that path and to go down a different path. A path of being a better athlete; a path of feeling comfortable in my own skin; a path of being happy with what I see in the mirror and the path of being a better role model for my daughter.